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A blessing and a curse

I just got finished reading an article in my running magazine about several runners who are planning on participating in the New York Marathon in memory of someone who had died due to the 9/11 tragedy.  Anyone who knows me knows that I don’t normally read these kinds of articles or watch programs on anything even remotely sad. I feel like there is enough sadness in life I don’t want to read it, or hear about it, or watch anything about anything…sad.  I read the article though and it made me just want to burst into tears. 

I am so grateful for all that I have in my life.  I have such loving friends and family who support me and keep me together when I want to fall apart.  I have all these wonderful people in my life and I can’t possibly show each and every one of them how much I love them and how much they mean to me.  There’s not enough time in the day to call up each individual person and tell them I love them and that I’m only who I am today because I have them in my life.  This HUGE feat is so depressing and frustrating  to me. 

I am lucky enough to have parents that are both there for me and I don’t get to see them on a daily basis.  I have siblings who mean the world to me and I can’t hug them every day and share a meal.   

And my truly, truly awesome friends that are spread out all over the world…I miss you and I want to hang out and laugh together on a regular basis…but we can’t.

We never know when someone we love is going to be taken from us so as lame as facebook, twitter, myspace, and personal blogs are, it makes me smile just a little bit to know that even though I might not be near enough to hug you, I will keep up to date through your shared pictures and status updates. I will feel a little more connected and hope you know that I love you and that you are still in my heart. 

If you are close enough to hug your friends and family please do…and hug them for me too. 

Much love and HUGE hugs,

Kimmy

Being single

I have been thinking about how much I appreciate the single life recently and then I found myself watching a video of a co-worker's model railroad track that he had built.  He obviously put a lot of work into this tiny masterpiece and it reminded me that it's totally ok to enjoy time alone and not want to spend it with anyone else.  He may very well being creating this project with someone by his side the whole time but for some reason it just felt very individual.  I know a lot of couple who would resent their significant other for spending so much time on something like a train set and that thought is so irritating to me.  And this is why I chose to be single.  I don't want to be the girlfriend who is pouting in the other room while my boyfriend spends time alone in a room with things that cannot talk back or communicate with him, nor do I want my boyfriend to be angry when I want to go spend time alone at a movie or wander around a bookstore for hours and hours or go off to a job that requires all of my time and energy. 

I enjoy my constant freedom.  I love that I can mess up and not have anyone to remind me of it later or splurge on something I really want and have a look of disappointment staring back at me when the receipt is found.  I like sleeping the wrong way in my own bed without someone stealing the covers.  Sleeping in without morning coversation is always a nice way to start my day.  And most of all I love spending time with whoever I want to spend time with at the moment without having to share my time with someone else. 

I have so many wonderful friends and family members that are married and happy with that choice and I applaud them for it.  For a long time I thought that was the life I wanted and didn't feel complete without having a certain someone in my life, but as the years go on and I get more and more set in my ways I am coming to a place of complete peace with the thought of being happy with my own company.  Either that or I'm destined to be a crazy cat lady.  Either way...it sounds like a plan to me.

Lots of love and peace,
Kim

3/16/11 Willamsport, PA

After 3 hours of sleep it was time to roll out of my bottom bunk (my favorite bunk preference...I'm terrified of falling off the top bunk, I did as a kid).  My head carp and I wander around and go through all dressing room/set up scenarios (best and worst) and then our days is off and running.  Because we leave right after the show and jump on a sleeper bus on one nighters there is not normally showering time so we roll into the next venue looking a little more scrappy then the day before and with a little more attitude as well.  Somehow less showering equals more attitude...hmmmmm.  I've inspected the showers at this venue and they aren't nearly as scary as some so this may be one of the days when a venue shower changes my whole world of a day.

After a couple hours of work I reach for my breakfast of champions:

Ok...off to do more paperwork. Cheers!

Love and peace,
Kim

3/15/11 York, PA

York is just as cute as I remember it!!! I love it so!  Here are a couple pictures of just how adorable it is:

The weather was really nice and I had some delicious grilled veggies with wild rice at restaurant called something like the White Rose....can't remember.

Here's another pretty picture of the sun through one of the many beautiful trees there:

One of the many reason I LOVE coming to York is for the amazing donuts...pictures you say???

And of course here's a picture of my office at the venue we played at:

In my office you will almost always hear some kind of music blaring from the tiny laptop speakers, several piles of paper, coffee, water, and eventually a printer that likes to fight with me on a daily basis.

Ok, my watch just beeped at me to say that it is 4:30am so now that I have finished my performance report, laughed up a storm with my crew, and updated my blogness it's time for some shut eye before heading into the theatre in 3 hours....it's good to be back! xo

Love and peace,
Kim

3/13/11 Last day of layoff...Back to blogging

So...I'vI had several very sweet friends ask about my blog and if I would ever update it.  To those friends: I love you, I will try to keep this puppy updated...here we go!


We've been on a layoff week this past week and as much as I love sleeping in and taking little kitty cat naps every couple hours I NEED TO GO BACK TO WORK!!!!  I'm just not any good at sitting around.  I'd much rather be loading in, running a show, or loading out.  I could do without the dragging of suitcases to and from buses but that's part of the gig.

I frankly don't have a clue as to what day of tour I'm on so I won't be using that as a time marker for the blog anymore, but I will post the date and the city we happen to be in.  I'm really excited about tomorrow because we are headed to York, PA.  York, PA is one of my very favorite cities because it has the most charm of any city I've ever been to.  It's super cute with a total Pennsylvania feel.  It's hard to describe but I'll try to remember to take pictures and post them.  I could totally see myself living there at some point in my life.

I also have come to the realization that I need to crochet another blanket or scarf.  It's been MONTHS!!!  I miss it terribly and need to get back to it.  Our props guy is a crocheting genius!!!  He wants to teach me how to crochet something more than totally tweaked out blankets and scarves but I refuse.  I love my wonky masterpieces!

Ok, time to finish packing, watch a docu film to get me motivated to be a vegan again, bed, then back to tour!!!!! Yay!  I miss my CATS family! xo

Love and peace,
Kim

The ups and downs of touring.

Today is one of those days where it seems nothing is going to get me out of the grumpy funk that I am in.  I woke up and considered eating my instant oatmeal for breakfast and it sounded like torture.  How many times a week can one girl eat oatmeal for breakfast?  The answer is: too many! Then I thought I would just head to the fitness center and let a good jog lift my spirits.  Well...the hotel I am in has a brand of cardio machines that do not agree with my body type.  The treadmill has a weird lagging thing. The Elliptical machine is made for someone who is at LEAST 6 feet tall, and both stationary bikes are not plugged in, or missing the cord, or trying to make me crazy. UGH.

I walk on the treadmill for 5 1/2 minutes when I finally give up because the ever now and again jerking motion is beginning to make me contemplate returning to the life that trades exercise for chocolate cake WITH vanilla ice cream for every meal.  This won't do. 

I get on the elliptical machine and do my best to get motivated to work up a sweat and 2 minutes into it get off because having my hands above my head for 20 minutes sounds like something out of a SAW movie. Goodbye fitness room.  I will not be returning for anymore of your aggravating punishment.

To the lobby, pour a cup of coffee and into the elevator to head back to my room and hopefully shake the funk in solitude.

The grumpies never stay with me for very long.  Even now I feel the chipperness creeping back into my soul and will once again go on to have a great day with only mild bumps and bruises.  It's times like this where I have to take the time to reflect on all the good that is in my life.  It's hard to stay negative when you practice gratitude.  So in order to get myself back to being myself here is what I am grateful for at the moment.

I am grateful that I woke up this morning.

I am grateful for my body who has taken me to so many places and has not given up on me even though I treated it badly for so many years.

I am grateful for my family and friends who love me and support me in everything I do.

I am grateful for my job because it challenges me everyday. 

I am grateful for the free lobby coffee that will hopefully kick start my day.

I am grateful for my faith because without it I wouldn't be alive and would not find the strength to try over and over again.

It looks like it's going to be a gorgeous day and I am thankful to be here to enjoy it.

Love and peace,
Kim